Wednesday, December 12, 2007

'Impossible Requests'

With God, nothing is impossible.

I have two spoken and unspoken prayers; in other words, I have prayed both silently and openly at different times over the last four years.

The first is that my husband would stop running away from his obligations and ultimately from himself and from God.
The second is that my son would be cured.

Both are 'impossible' requests. Neither are likely to occur, or at least not in ways that I can imagine.

The first request was asked fervently in the first years after my husband announced he had 'given up' on me (turned out he was and is having an affair.) Now, when I pray for him, I don't want God to answer my original prayer: "oh please God, save my marriage."

If I am completely honest, the idea of taking my husband back into my home seems ridiculous. He would have to have CHANGED so much. Yes, something 'impossible': right? Right.

Seeing my son cured; now, this I see happening every day. I see my son growing up, yet people I trust continue to indicate to me that he will have an extremely difficult life despite his intelligence and his good looks. And as I watch him interact with other people, I can not help but feel my son is one of the loneliest people I have ever known. And it hurts beyond words. (It also hurts to face it alone without my other half, my husband of 27 years. There is nothing quite like being abandoned.)

'Impossible' for my son to be normal. Right? Right.

Yet, with God, nothing is impossible.

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