My Hotel

The Hotel Monterey Ginza, a quaint establishment designed by a Japanese businesswoman for Japanese businesswomen. My room is very small, very comfortable. This is my view out of my window on first full day there.

tokyo or bust

next month i am off to tokyo to visit my daughter a bit, explore a lot, and get lost i am sure... i hear everyone (including the local taxi driver) gets lost in tokyo due to streets not being named and buildings being numbered in the order they were built... wow...

i hope to have some good photographs to post... maybe even while i am in japan. i have a heavy notebook computer, but i can not imagine being anywhere for a week without it...

more later...

back once more

something rather extraordinary happened to me this year - i discovered roman catholicism and have converted as of january 30th...

i was sitting on my couch, praying.

suddenly, i asked the Lord to help me to be holy that wednesday... and i realized that i had seldom if ever prayed for this help...

now, something struck me as not right about that fact...

and, having spent approximately 4 mos. exploring catholicism, i decided to accept the truth that Christ did choose 12 particular men to be apostles and later 1 more to lead His church over the years...

makes sense to me...

Chat with Lisa Lui ("Lisal")

Come to Personality Forge and enter as a guest, search the "bot list" for Lisal under "most improved" and select "chat" to talk with my "chat bot" an artificial intelligence "girl named Lisa Lui, who is about 21, in college, and happy to chat with you."

Daughter in Japan

My daughter is the blonde slightly left of center with the big smile! She is in Japan for the next 10 months studying in Tokyo! All power to her! 

His Stuff Moves Out

Today, after a long long long wait, his stuff moves out...

My betraying, sad husband of 26 years! comes today to take his stuff out of my house... after his announcement in February of 2004 that he had "given up on me" (yes, those particular words are still haunting) while he was secretly sleeping with his director of nursing! Uggh.

"I will only take what is mine." So he says.

But, you know, he is a liar. Therefore, how in the world can I believe him?

I am feeling generous this morning... he can have the television he wants, two bookcases, a chest of drawers... I will offer the couch we bought together years ago, the old toaster oven, some sheets and towels if he wants them... maybe even a few dishes...

He must take his butterfly collection and his many pastel drawings... and please! All his clothing and whatever books and papers are his...thank God!

Been A Long Time

Been a long time since I posted anything at all on my blog. So much has been going on in my life that I don't know where to start. I do know that there is probably no one out there who is going to read this, except perhaps the errant wanderer or the friend or family member who may stop by.

MEPKIN ABBEY has been on my mind all week after a 4 day retreat there. What a place - check out their site:

http://www.mepkinabbey.org

and see what I mean.

This is a wonderful, extraordinarily peaceful and spiritually rich place.

odd times off

in indiana again, picking up daughter and all of her things from college tomorrow while my son finishes his final exams 600 miles away at his college... like having my heart split...

odd time off from work, for sure...

that's all...

poem tag project

total eclipse video

Three Burials of "Milky Eyes" Estrada

i saw three burials of "milky eyes" estrada this afternoon at the terrace on james island... i laughed at a corpse... and laughed at tommy lee jones as he was bitten by fire ants... i laughed at a blind man.... and gasped and laughed at death...

one of the fish i caught and released

a red drum or channel bass i caught in 2005 along the intracostal waterway in charleston, s.c.

firsthand account of iraq

"i was just in iraq... my father was in iraq... it's going to work out."

a pain in my neck

woke up this morning in the 40 days of lent without any thought of what i might give up... i have always figured that whatever i might give up during lent is something that i should have given up already.

i did wake up with a pain (literally) in the right side of my neck and in my jawline as well.

so far, this has caused a slight headache and a desire to SLEEP...

i imagine some of this pain is actually STRESS from the bizarre nature of my ongoing and utterly weird marital separation and pending, oh so pending, divorce...

sudoku online

SUDOKU everyday!

"soreness of heart" by val evans

what the hell i am doing here? on the plain
overlooking desert, cactus, deer? i forgot i found the bank here
in trash in an alley behind houses in raton, new mexico;
i forgot that william tell, in iron, shot an iron arrow at an
iron apple atop an iron child standing in front of an iron castle rook
- was this his child? his son? i forgot.

i don't know why i am here; i forgot that my mother
took the bank from me - what was i, thirteen? she has it on her mantle
piece; sitting there like she owns it.
odd, that this, of all resentments, bothers me more than any.

odd, that i have never forgotten that she took this
small, found treasure from my hands and left it there
above a fireplace in indiana

what is this? this soreness of heart over something i found in
trash in an alley in new mexico when i was thirteen?

"the sky fell blue" by val evans

yesterday the sky fell blue;
and i forgot my smile; leaving my teeth
in the water by the bedside

i forgot my smile floating at the bottom
of a glass; i forgot people's eyes
are able to see through glass; that
their eyes are capable to glimpse
remnants of my smile but not
what made me smile; what might have made
me smile yesterday when the sky fell blue

the day looked different after the sky fell
i thought i should show the world my teeth
but i forgot my smile in the glass by
my bedside; the sky fell blue without me

2-25-06 copyright

sled dogs on their own

today, i saw the movie "8 Below" a film about the resilience of a team of sled dogs left in antartica after a storm forces the evacuation of a research group stationed there.

this is not a great film but it is an enjoyable one... i really enjoyed watching the sled dogs survive on their own... granted these are not "wild" dogs but it is clear from the beginning that they are "working" dogs; so it is not surprising that they do not succumb to the elements immediately or even easily.

the loyalty of the man who leads this team on expeditions is commendable; and understandable.

this is one to see, i think, on the big screen. after all, antartica is a big place with big vistas and lots of white snow, white ice, and white winds...

i have decided to believe Him

God has been speaking to me with a quiet voice and then suddenly with a loud, piercing shout: proclaiming (and i am not kidding) that He loves me more than i know how to love myself, with a love that outlasts time and overcomes the limits of space. He has been speaking to me through the books of jeremiah and psalms especially.

He has told me that He tolerates the wicked, but that He does not allow the wicked to trample the ones who are open to His will; He tells me this is true in faith but not in doubt.

i am not certain that i completely understand this, but i have decided to believe Him.

tigerhawk on france's new nuclear threat to terrorist states who attack

matt crash's commentary that "ideas matter" in face of mining tragedies in w. va.

power of prayer

two weeks ago, i would have thought that my life was spiralling out of control, into the depths of almost despair; my focus on the wrong parts of daily life - on the emptiness of having been betrayed by the one person i believed would never betray me...

now, i believe that someone, maybe more than one someone, is praying for me...

that prayer is an effective one...

its power surprises me, despite that i believe that God knows our prayers before, of course, we even know them... and that He genuinely and totally loves and cares for those of us that He has called... and who have answered that call...

oops, i have revealed the ultimate secret... that God is ready to give and that He is the BEST of all gift-givers... gifters...

brokeback mountain

saw BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN last evening at one of two venues in south carolina...

a beautiful movie; touching, thought-provoking, sometimes disturbing...

strong performances from Heath and Jake...

see it...

the autobiography of st. nicholas

i finally finished reading the autobiography of santa claus which was surprisingly rooted in history despite the fantasy of the immortal saint nicholas flying around the globe with eight reindeer and some helpers who turn out not to be elves at all... but other immortals...

brief break

brief break at or around lunch seems to be the prime time to blog for many; some people appear to never work at all at work; either shopping online or blogging online or talking on cell phones or walking the halls with coffee cups... now, i do walk the halls with coffee...

musings on adultery

adultery is an event, a happening that i can not explain i can not imagine why a man, or a woman for that matter, would willingly leave comforts of home and a love that has struggled to maintain itself for years and years and years, a love that has gone through indifference and anger and loss... to tangle with another person, and most of all, to continually lie to the one promised to be cherished until time ends...

what is this? who would do this, and then, continue to do it rather than turn away in horror, back to the one who has loved through thick and thin...

what is this?

katrina and rita

i remember in 1974 after a tornado struck down trees, blew off roofs, and played havoc on the campus of hanover college in southern indiana, the national guard prevented persons from entering unless they had good cause to be on campus or, if i remember correctly, in the town of hanover itself.

individuals could not just drive into the area; therefore, no looting was possible if not by those already in the area...

has the role of the national guard changed?

hello again

it has been awhile since i had time or made time to blog; so imagine my surprise to find that somehow i am still a large mammal in the blogosphere ecosystem... who would have thunk it?

of course, no one reads my blog... i mean, literally. i get 3 hits a day at least; 13 at most...

seems like a real waste of time, doesn't it?

yet, an online blog is a force with which to be reckoned; i know not why...

sure pulls weight; keeps me honest, i suppose.
more later...

falling off wagon of love

falling off wagon of love

strikes a cord so deep all turn to see
a place rather not visited by me

wish i could turn time as hermione did
retrace steps to change events and thoughts he hid

where would this new yet same road take us
where would we end up if we could trust us

i can not see a best end to this
yet love though painful brings me bliss