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"soreness of heart" by val evans

what the hell i am doing here? on the plain
overlooking desert, cactus, deer? i forgot i found the bank here
in trash in an alley behind houses in raton, new mexico;
i forgot that william tell, in iron, shot an iron arrow at an
iron apple atop an iron child standing in front of an iron castle rook
- was this his child? his son? i forgot.

i don't know why i am here; i forgot that my mother
took the bank from me - what was i, thirteen? she has it on her mantle
piece; sitting there like she owns it.
odd, that this, of all resentments, bothers me more than any.

odd, that i have never forgotten that she took this
small, found treasure from my hands and left it there
above a fireplace in indiana

what is this? this soreness of heart over something i found in
trash in an alley in new mexico when i was thirteen?

"the sky fell blue" by val evans

yesterday the sky fell blue;
and i forgot my smile; leaving my teeth
in the water by the bedside

i forgot my smile floating at the bottom
of a glass; i forgot people's eyes
are able to see through glass; that
their eyes are capable to glimpse
remnants of my smile but not
what made me smile; what might have made
me smile yesterday when the sky fell blue

the day looked different after the sky fell
i thought i should show the world my teeth
but i forgot my smile in the glass by
my bedside; the sky fell blue without me

2-25-06 copyright

sled dogs on their own

today, i saw the movie "8 Below" a film about the resilience of a team of sled dogs left in antartica after a storm forces the evacuation of a research group stationed there.

this is not a great film but it is an enjoyable one... i really enjoyed watching the sled dogs survive on their own... granted these are not "wild" dogs but it is clear from the beginning that they are "working" dogs; so it is not surprising that they do not succumb to the elements immediately or even easily.

the loyalty of the man who leads this team on expeditions is commendable; and understandable.

this is one to see, i think, on the big screen. after all, antartica is a big place with big vistas and lots of white snow, white ice, and white winds...

i have decided to believe Him

God has been speaking to me with a quiet voice and then suddenly with a loud, piercing shout: proclaiming (and i am not kidding) that He loves me more than i know how to love myself, with a love that outlasts time and overcomes the limits of space. He has been speaking to me through the books of jeremiah and psalms especially.

He has told me that He tolerates the wicked, but that He does not allow the wicked to trample the ones who are open to His will; He tells me this is true in faith but not in doubt.

i am not certain that i completely understand this, but i have decided to believe Him.